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Archived Articles
Those Embarrassing Public Tantrums
Public tantrums are every parent's worst nightmare. You're out
getting a few items and "BAM" your child begins to scream
and thrash around, right in the middle of the store. All
judging eyes are suddenly on you and you can tell that everyone is
wondering how you could ever let your child behave like that in
public. The embarrassment sets in, then the anger and then you
try your best to make your child stop, but nothing works. Your
entire shopping experience has been ruined and you leave the store
feeling angry at your child. All parents have gone through
this at least one time.
Stopping Tantrums before they Start
All parents would like to avoid public tantrums all together.
This can be accomplished by doing a variety of things. You
must know your child's triggers, learn to play games to make sure
your child isn't bored and get him involved in the shopping
experience.
Understand your child's tantrum triggers.
Does your child tend to throw tantrums when he's tired, hungry or
overly stimulated? If so, avoid shopping when you know that
this is the case. Make sure you go out after your child has
had a nap or snack and has had time to unwind in a quiet
environment. By doing this, you'll start your child off in the
right frame of mind to have a nice public outing.
If you are in a hurry and don't have time to allow your child to
do each of these actions, then take items with you that accomplish
these tasks while you're out. Allow your child to bring along
a soft stuffed animal that he could use as a pillow if he needs to
lay down in the cart to rest. Bring a snack in your purse that
you can offer to your child if he shows signs of being hungry.
Take along a small pad of paper and pencil to provide your child
with an activity he can do if he's bored. Wait until you see
signs of hunger or boredom before taking out the little surprises
from your purse.
Games of Distraction
If you keep your child entertained, then he won't have the urge to
whine or throw fits to get his way. There are some fun games
you can do to keep your child happy while you're out on the
town.
I Spy
Look around the isle and describe an item that you see and have your
child try to figure out what item you're describing. Take
turns describing items and guessing.
Active Colors
Tell your child a color and let him know that he is suppose to find
an item in that isle that is that color. Make sure to look around
and pick a color that is scarce so that it is a little challenging
to find. Once he names an item that matches the color, he's to
do the action that goes with that color. (Actions are listed
below) These are easy to remember because the actions rhyme with the
color. If your child wants to make up his own actions for each
color, he can do that as well. If he finds something that is
the chosen color, you could also have him tell you an animal that is
the same color, and make that animal sound. Have fun adding
your own twists to this simple game.
Red - Tap his head with his hand
Blue - Tap his shoe on the ground
Pink - Give you a wink
Black - Scratch your back
Brown - Make a big frown
White - Shake hands using your right hands
My Favorite Things
Tell your child that you want him to point out his favorite thing in
each isle of the store. When you get to an isle, ask him to
start looking around and let you know when he finds an item that is
his favorite thing in that isle. Ask him to tell you why it is
his favorite thing. You can share your favorite things with
your child as well. This is a great way to learn about your
child and to encourage fun conversation.
Discuss public expectations
The number one thing to remember to prevent your child from throwing
public tantrums is to explain your expectations of how you'd like
him to act before ever going out. Let him know where you'll be
going, and what you're going for and that he's expected to
behave. Let him know that it will be a fun day out and that
you have some fun games planned. Make sure you have all of
your tantrum trigger items covered and then head out on the town to
spend a nice afternoon with your child.
This blog is written by Kim Proulx, the creator of The
Happy Discipline Kit. Kim is a Parent Coach and believes
that children need unconditional love and guidance to grow to be
confident, independent adults. Kim does Happy Discipline Workshops
for Organizations and also conducts personal
consultations with parents. Kim is also the writer of The
Happy Discipline Parenting Advice Column.
If you'd like to contact her please send an email to webmaster@happydiscipline.com.
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