Positive Discipline Tip of the Week 4/01/2008

How to Discipline in Public

Positive Discipline Tip of the Week 3/17/08

Why does My Child Whine?

Create Silly Discipline Signals
There's something fun you can do with your child to make public discipline easier.

Have a Silly Discipline Signal meeting with your child.  Before the meeting, write down all of the negative behaviors your child displays in public.  Bring this list with you to the meeting.

Sit with your child and let him know how he's expected to behave in public.  Tell him that you understand that sometimes he gets restless and forgets the rules, but now you want to create fun signals that you can do in public to let him know what rule he's breaking and what negative behavior you want him to stop.  When going over each negative behavior make sure to remind him of the behavior he should do.  If the negative behavior is getting out of his seat at a restaurant, remind him that he's to stay in his seat and when you do that signal he's to return to his seat immediately.  Allow him to also create a funny signal to do back to you to let you know that he understood your signal.

Go over each negative behavior that he might do and ask him to come up with a fun signal that you can do to remind him to stop the negative behavior. Write down the description of the signal next to the negative behavior on the list.  

Example: If he tends to talk too loudly in restaurants, you could use the signal with the pointer finger over your mouth to let him know he needs to be quiet. When you do the signal and he quiets down, then he can give you his "ok" signal.  To let you know he understood your signal.

When you're finished creating your signal list.  Go over each signal and take turns role playing.  Let him be the parent giving the signal to you and you show him what he's to do when he gets the signal.  Let him know that this is a fun way for you to communicate.  Make up a secret handshake at the end to shake, and agree that you'll both abide by the signal rule. 

As a parent, you probably feel frustrated and annoyed when your child whines.  If you come to terms with the fact that this is a normal behavior for young children, you may be able to approach your child with a more loving reaction.

Children who come from households where the phrase "I'll help you in a minute" or "I'll be there in a minute" is used often, tend to whine.  A minute is a long time for a young child and he will get frustrated from always being made to wait.  He will also get feelings of disconnection and will feel more lonely.  If the word "No" is used frequently this will also cause whining.  

If your child tends to whine more than most, try fulfilling his needs immediately and saying yes more often. Touch his shoulder or give him a hug while he's whining and let him know that you understand how he's feeling.  If he's whining because you've told him no, make sure you stay firm with your decision, but let him know that you understand how he feels.  When he's stopped whining, explain to him how he could have used words instead of whines to tell you how he was feeling.

Create a Phone Toy Box.  Buy a toy or two that you know your child will really like.  Place it in a box labeled Phone Toy Box.  Tell your child that the only time he's allowed to play with those toys is when you're on the phone.  

Before you make a call, get the phone toy box down and give it to your child.  Tell him he is to play quietly with his special phone toys because you will be on a phone call and he's not to interrupt.  Show him the SHHH sign, finger over mouth, remind him that if you make this sign, then he's not to interrupt and he's to go and play quietly until you're off the phone.  You can buy new toys for this special box whenever needed.  Now you can make a phone call without worry of interruptions.  
Happy Chatting!